I’m still waiting for that parenting kids manual to arrive. You know the one that tells me step by step what I am doing wrong, what I am doing right and what I should of done last year. I hope it includes pop up pictures and embedded you-tube videos because this mom needs doesn’t have a clue on parenting kids most of the time. Okay, I know that manual doesn’t exist. Unfortunately the only thing I’m getting in the mail today are bills and maybe the grocery ads. But I can still wish!

Sometimes those answers do come though and yesterday one big question I have been needing an answer to was given. My family management has become nothing short of insane! I can no longer handle the yelling, hitting and swearing. I needed some child behavior management skills and I needed them NOW!! I know I know, I watch SuperNanny too and I have tried her timeout methods many times. And yes I know a good swat on the but might do the trick but spanking has become unacceptable by most and possibly against the law depending on the method used. So how can I get the kids to stop yelling, quit the hitting and cut costs on bar soap because washing their mouths out just is not working.

After a visit with my son to the Behavior Management Clinic I learned how to effectively use the timeout method before my child’s behavior becomes unacceptable. Mom’s this is so simple to enforce and maintain. I will make it easy and break it down, step-by-step. Forget suppernanny’s timeout method, although good in it’s intentions, the show leaves out some important key factors for mom’s when trying to establish positive child behavior management. Grab a pen, a piece of paper and start MommyMachelle’s Time Out Kids Method today:

MommyMachelle’s Time Out Kids Method

Understanding this method:

1. Timeout should never be used as discipline. If that were the case most of our children would spend the majority of their day in time out. Kids naturally need to explore boundaries, push the mommy buttons and learn from their mistakes.
2. Timeout should be used as a method of learning the rules. This is a time when your child is placed in a specific area chosen by the parent to think about the rules. A parent has to be consistent and the rules need to be repetitive. As the child sits in timeout thinking about the rules, with time, they will learn the rules and understand the consequences for breaking the rules.

What you need to get started:

1. A piece of paper, sharpie marker and some tape or access to a printer.
2. A designated time our chair, time out bench or time out rug…it doesn’t matter what it is. I use a time out step.
3. So kind of timer. You can use the microwave times, oven timer, wall clock or watch. 4 minutes is all it takes.
4. Decide on 2 rules you want to enforce in your house to start with. This can be no yelling, hitting, screaming, swearing or biting. Or it can be the time in which you want them to go to bed, getting daily chores done or homework enforcement. The goal here is to start with 2 areas in which you find lack of control in your child’s behavior and teach them your rule for such behavior.
5. Write the 2 rules on a piece of paper or use the computer to create the household rules. Then tape the household rules to the refrigerator, wall or where ever the kids can see the household rules. Gather up the kids, hubby and whoever else is going to be a part of the rule enforcement and show them the rules. Talk with them about the rules. Explain your rules and what will happen if the rules are not followed.
6. The same set of rules have to apply to all the kids, no matter the age. If the 15 year old is yelling and that is a rule, then that 15 year has to take a timeout to learn the rule as well.

Let’s summarize all of this before we take this plan into action. Choose 2 household rules you want to being with, write them on a piece of paper and hang the paper up. Talk with the family about the rules and what will happen when the rules are not followed. Show the kids your designated time our chair, time out bench or time out rug and explain that this is where they will sit for 4 minutes to “learn the rules.”

Enforcing the Time Out Kids Method

I am going to use hitting as an example for one of my rules. Let’s assume my 6 year old has hit my 4 year old (really there is no need to assume it happens daily)

1. Calmly walk up to the child and explain that the rule is “no hitting”
2. Calmly take the child to the designated timeout are and sit them down.
3. Tell the child ” You are in timeout to learn the rule no hitting”
4. Set the timer for 4 minutes and walk away
5. After 4 minutes walk up to the child, repeat the rule “the rule is no hitting” then ask the child “what is mommy’s rule?”
6. Once the child repeats the rule they are done with the timeout.

That is all you say, nothing else. A child’s attention span is very small and you do not need to explain or reason with the child. Simply state the rule and walk away. Set the timer for 4 minutes. If the child gets up before the timer has went off, repeat steps 1-3 and start the timer again.

So how do you get your kids to sit for 4 minutes and take their timeout. Here are a few suggestions:

• Be calm, patient and prepared to enforce your rules. It might take 10 minutes or 2 hours to get that child to sit there but if you are consistent and remain in control, I promise you, that child will sit there.
• Start your new rule enforcement over the weekend or whenever when dad is home to lend a helping hand with the other kids. You are not going to be successful at this in the beginning if you are not in the right mind set. If dad isn’t available then mom just get yourself prepared ahead of time. A Single Mother’s strength can go far beyond the support of a husband sometimes. I have been in both situations and I know how strong you are.
• If your child’s timeout tantrum is destroying the house or your nerves ( I have one of those I promise) sit behind the child, you facing the back of their head, and hold them in a gentle bear hug until they calm down, then being the steps again.
• Above all don’t give up. Work at it day after day. By being repetitive your child is going to learn and retain you rules.

Okay so mom’s here is your chance to gain some control over the kids behavior. It’s not discipline it is simply teaching your children the rules you expect to be followed. Once you feel they have learned your rules then replace the paper with new ones. And don’t be alarmed if you have to enforce a previous rule. Kids learn by their mistakes too.

Follow MommyMachelle as next week I will cover more of what I learned from my visit to the Behavior Management Clinic. I will cover some great topics on Parenting Kids with “chill time” and a simple and effective reward system to get those little ones to do what you want them to do without a hassle or yelling match.

You Might Also Like:

• Financial Budgeting For Mom’s
• Buy In Bulk On Every Day Food Items
• It’s Time For Holiday Cookies
• New Mommy Machelle – My Lesson Learned
• Life Lesson: Emergency Car Kits Are A MUST

Popularity: 5% [?]